Chasing Cars :Style:

"We'll do it all
Everything
On our own.

I felt Kyle's lips press softly to mine and ours fingers twined together. Finally, finally, after so long, I'd gotten my one desire—to have a romantic relationship with Kyle. I was surprised, really, because Kyle never really seemed as if he thought of me that way. We discussed how we would tell our parents, and we decided that, even if they didn't accept us, we'd find a way to work out everything.

"We don't need
Anything
Or anyone.

I snuggled close to Kyle, pressing my body against his. We'd been kicked out of our homes, so all we had was a box, a big comforter, and our clothes. We couldn't afford a home—not when we were a hop and a skip over sixteen—so we had to improvise, and now we were living on the streets like homeless peoples. But we were happy—we were with each other, after all.

"If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me,
And just forget the world?

I sprawled out in the grass at the top of the hill and stared up at the sky. A shadow crossed my vision, and then Kyle was lying next to me. I rolled over onto my side to look at him, and he mimicked my action. I stared deep into his forest green eyes, and I felt myself slipping away from reality and into a suspended moment in time, completely forgetting about the world around us.

"I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel.

I lay next to Kyle in our newly-acquired bed. We were eighteen now, and we'd finally managed to scrounge enough money together to rent an apartment. My love was asleep at this point, but I felt something tug in my heart, as if it knew something bad was going to happen. I had the sudden urge to tell him how much I loved him—but I couldn't find the words to explain it.

"Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough.

Words fumbled over my tongue as I tried to think of what to say to Kyle. I'd grown quiet in the past year—especially when I was around him. I still couldn't think of how to explain my feelings to him. We'd been saying that we love each other for over three years now, and those words just didn't seem efficient enough anymore.

"If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me,
And just forget the world?

I lay on my stomach on the dock at Stark's Pond, watching the fish flit about in the water below me. Suddenly, all the fish swam as fast as they could away, and then Kyle was lying next to me. I turned my head and looked over at him, and a small smile played on his lips. 'Hi, Stan,' he said, and instantly the world around me fell away and it was just me and him.

"Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life.

Darkness surrounded me, and the only assuring me that I was still of this world was Kyle's hand that was inter-connected with mine. My sweet love walked close to me, making sure I didn't trip or hurt myself as he led me someplace known only to him. Eventually we came to a stop and he removed the blindfold from my eyes, revealing a small garden full of soft-looking Verbena hybrid flowers, delicate Roses, and the ever-pretty Morning Glories. 'For us,' Kyle told me with a smile.

"Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads.

'You know what we should do?' Kyle asked me one day as we were lying in bed staring at the ceiling. I looked over at him as if to ask 'what?' and he replied, 'We should play with the little Hot Wheels toys.' I laughed at the thought of that, and my love rolled over to look at me. 'I'm serious,' he prompted. 'There's nothing better to do.' Knowing he was right, I agreed, and we spent the rest of the day just laying around and playing with little toy cars.

"I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own.

I sat in front of the mirror, staring at myself. I had on a baby blue dress shirt, a navy tie, and my hair was all perfect and in line. I sighed, knowing this wasn't really me—I'm more for t-shirts and bedhead. Kyle, having noted my obvious discomfort, came up behind me and slipped his arms around my waist and kissed the nape of my neck. 'You know you don't have to do this,' he murmured. 'You should be who you want to be, not how someone else wants you to be.'

"If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me,
And just forget the world?

I lay on the floor in mine and Kyle's room—now barely a hop and a skip away from twenty-two. I stared up at the ceiling, and I guess I dozed off, because the next thing I remember is Kyle lying next to me. I looked over at him, and, upon seeing that he was asleep, smiled to myself. He was so darling… I kissed him gently on the forehead, then went back to sleep, thinking of how he was the only thing that mattered to me.

"Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life.

'Stan, do you think we're getting boring?' Kyle asked me one day as we sat in our garden, watching our adopted son and daughter playing together. I looked over at him, willing him to explain. 'I mean, we're thirty-five, and we have two children. Maybe we should do something to liven our lives.' I shook my head, but didn't utter a word. I just took his hand in mine and gestured to the garden around us. Kyle looked around and smiled. 'You're right. Our garden is enough for that.'

"All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see.

I sat across from my love, staring at his ever-lively eyes. His hair had gone from vibrant red to a gray in the past few years. We were fifty-three now, and our children were grown up and had families of their own. Now it was just me and Kyle again. I sighed happily, and continued to stare contentedly into the depths of Kyle's perfect, perfect eyes.

"I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all.

'Stan?' Kyle whispered, his voice weak and hoarse. I looked up, tears in my eyes, and over to my dying love. He'd been diagnosed with lung cancer a few months ago, and it couldn't be cured. They don't know how he got lung cancer, and they don't know when it developed. 'I love you…' he told me, and then his eyes shut for the last and final time. I picked up his hand and brought it to my lips, and I tried to tell him that I loved him too—but I couldn't. Some things just never change.

"If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me,
And just forget the world?"

I lay in my bed now, staring up at the ceiling. My thoughts were on Kyle—and of all the times we had just lied together, doing nothing. As I was lying there, I felt a presence join me on the bed, and I knew it was Kyle without even having to look. I shut my eyes and sighed in content—and eventually slipped into a never ending sleep where I could just forget the world and lie with Kyle.